See through kitty

We arrived in Annecy, France, in the late spring of 2004 after having spent eight years in Asia. Shakespeare had so far lived in our Singaporean condo on the mountain where he was born, our picturesque house in Den-en-chofu, Tokyo, our apartment with the magnificent view over Lamma Island and our vast government-owned apartment – both in Hong Kong. We went from 300 m2 to a 100m2 loft apartment on Avenue de Genève.

All went well, initially; he only escaped down the elevator that went straight up to our apartment once, and he only jumped down to our neighbor’s balcony once as well. Winter arrived and his strolls around our 50m2 large patio came to an end. He has never been much of a winter guy; instead he curled up like a cinnamon roll under a blanket or under the duvet in our bed, surrounded by pillows.

All of a sudden he started coughing, not like a normal cat-cold kind of cough but more wheezing and dry cough, as if he couldn’t exhale properly – like asthma. And sure enough, the vet soon confirmed that asthma it was and that he needed regular cortisone injections throughout winter. Needless to say; cortisone plus inactivity made him put on a lot of weight and by summer we had one fat kitty.

When Shakespeare arrived after more than two months of boarding in Scottsdale, a three day journey across the globe and six days of quarantine he resembled Garfield, only grey and black instead of orange. Never before has he been so….solid…. (I’m way to nice here…I don’t want to hurt the poor deaf cats’ feelings…).

After a very short stroll around the service apartment he settled in quickly and has since escaped only once when housekeeping by accident let him out. He prefers to spend his days sleeping or looking out the window.

Beijing is extremely dry and of course the cough came back, with a vengeance. I took him to the vet the other day to make sure his lungs and heart where working well and confirm, yet again, what I know is wrong with him. Before I knew it, four people were involved and he was whisked off to the x-ray room where they proceeded to hold him down during the procedure (thank god they were wearing protective vests!). Afterwards, the sanitized instruments went back in to their plastic bags (without being sanitized again…) and the doctor began to rinse the negatives in the examination room.

The result? Sure enough, he is overweight but he also has a mysterious syndrome which causes his airways to tighten and contract, something related to old age presumably.

There’s always an excuse, isn’t there? Will look into a cat treadmill for sure…

Fall break part 1

Fall break fell upon us last week and while the majority of the expat population fled the city and headed for beaches in Thailand, Vietnam or Malaysia, or exciting city breaks in Tokyo, Hong Kong or Singapore, what seemed like the entire Chinese population headed for Beijing. As did we. We figured we couldn’t really leave Shakespeare at a cattery so soon after having checked out of one and besides, it gave us a chance to explore our new city.

We started off the week with a visit to Tiananmen Square, rumored to fit 1.000.000 visitors at once. I believe there were 999.996 Chinese visitors and four (4) Swedes around that Monday morning, at least if felt like it. But boy, were we popular. We of course remember the fascination of our pale skin, blue eyes and golden hair but for the kids this was new. But after a few minutes of shyness, they quickly warmed up and posed with whom ever wanted a picture with a REAL laowai. We squeezed ourselves through the underpass in an effort to enter the Forbidden City but to no avail. It was simply too crowded and by now, the kids had really had enough. Not even hot dog on a stick and ice cream helped and we made our way out, trying to find lunch. 

And there they were, lovely little street restaurants offering all sorts of local delicacies but what did our kids do? They frowned with their little faces and scrunched their noses complaining about weird smells and sounds. I guess we will take it in baby steps but it will be my mission to have them eat, and enjoy (!), Chinese food before next summer.

Having Mr. Li around to take us home after our exhausting city visit was a godsend; to escape into his clean Buick with crocheted seat covers (and seatbelts!) and listen to Lady Gaga made the trip home so much more comfortable than trying to find a taxi and convince the driver to drive all the way out to Shunyi all the while listening to Chinese theater on the radio and worry about the kids crashing through the window in case of an accident.

Tuesday we headed for Mutianyu. In 1997 this part of the Great Chinese Wall was pretty peaceful and calm; a few vendors selling water and souvenirs, a tiny bar and a very stinky bathroom of the simplest kind. Toilet seats - are you kidding? Doors for privacy -why bother?!

There had been an upgrade in both restrooms (still stinky though) and vendors of food/drink/souvenirs; there was even a Subway! We had packed lunch and headed straight for the gondola taking us all the way up to the wall, with a half-promise that we would look at the nanchucks and Chinese army hats later…as well as the traditional Chinese empress hat…

Even the kids were impressed by the wall, actually awestruck and speechless would be a better word for their reaction. It is so impressive and magnificent and incomprehensible to understand that it is man-made. The kids had a blast and ran off energy climbing up and down the steps, not tiring of the view or the attention they got from the other visitors, again – mainly Chinese. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and as we were sitting down next to a watch tower eating our sandwiches we were having a near perfect moment. If it hadn’t been for the people gawking at us, stopping to take our picture (they eat!) and ask us questions about where we were from, why we were there, were the kids twins and when the answer was no; oh you are so lucky.

We managed to steer the attention away from the nanchucks (I could just imagine the strangling accident) with two samurai swords and traded the army hat for a revolutionary cap (couldn’t get her off the empress hat though) and picked up a few souvenirs for our American friends and later headed home, in Mr. Li’s air conditioned sedan listening to Lady Gaga.

Slumpin' away

It’s official; I’m in a slump. Been here before, know the signs and the feel of it all and it really suck.

The pollution index is at a steady 200 – 300ish meaning grey skies and dusty feeling skin. Make-up is worn as a protectant against the elements; thank God I’m a woman. Even though the weather is still warm enough for shorts and t-shirts during the day, the government has decided that all air-con units should no longer produce cold air. For now, nothing comes out until they decide it’s time for warm air. I knew this was the case for apartments and official buildings but a hotel? Hello?!

To add insult to misery, I am officially too fat to buy clothes in China. “Ohhhh, mei you….ni tai da le!” (Oh, there is nothing, you are too big!) Yay, thanks midget. I know I’ve got a big ass but it can be clothed in the rest of the world and these boobs that you are looking at, longing for; well, too bad you’re never gonna get any unless you pay for them. Hah!

So what to do when you’ve been living in the same clothes since June in AZ summer desert climate, Scandinavian summer and Beijing fall which is getting colder by the day? You suck it up and go shopping! That’s all. You’d think that is an easy task in China since EVERYTHING is made in China. Not so much so. I decided to skip the humiliation and struggle at the markets and headed straight for Solana; a shopping center that looks (key word here!) like it could be placed anywhere in America; familiar stores, a food court, a western type supermarket, a pharmacy and a few restaurants.

I was quite optimistic at this point; I was only looking for a couple of pairs of pants or jeans and a sweater, not a ball gown! Beijing country life isn’t exactly glamorous; god knows what I’m going to do with my 40 or so pair of heels that will arrive any year now. So, optimistically, I enter the first shop; a well-known brand; a chain store that has everything! I browse through the store, picking up an item here, and item there, all in my usual size (and no, I have not gained weight over summer!) and head for the changing rooms. No, no, no and noooooo! I can’t even pull the pants over my knees and I did pick the right size (this isn’t Italy or France when they have weird sizes and you have to go two sizes up in everything) but somehow, these pants must be made exclusively for the Asian market and maybe you don’t know this but Asian ladies are ass—less. All flat. A round booty like mine does not belong here.

By the third store I am tired, sweaty (no air-conditioning, remember) and hungry and there I meet an angel. She sees me, she greets me and she doesn’t give up. She gets every single pair of pants and jeans in the store and finally – success! I almost kissed the woman.

Exhausted from trying on clothes I head for the food court. Yum! Not a Mc Donald’s or KFC in sight. All local food made on the spot; every kind of noodle and dumpling you can imagine…if I only could figure out how to pay…and to get some ones, any ones, attention. There seemed to be a system of pre-paying whatever you wanted at a cashier at the very entrance. People were walking around waving credit card like cards, while shouting the orders to the vendors. Nobody was interested in me, nobody even offered to help and tries to explain, nobody cared that I was starving and very willing to be charged laowai overprices. I left hungry and confused…and went around the corner to…Restaurant Street! There they were, all lined up! Food for every taste and wallet and they were very willing to serve me a delicious bowl of miso ramen with a spicy tempura roll on the side.

Next, I hit IKEA…but that’s a whole different story…

JD/IT anyone?

I love my cat, I love mycat, I lovemycatIlovemycat. Seriously, I do. I love him to bits even though I had conveniently enough forgotten about how annoying he is when he at 2:42 am wakes me up by nibbling my arm, eating my hair and sweeping everything on the bedside table down on the floor to get my attention. For what? I don’t know. I’m thinking he’s just making sure I’m aware that he’s the boss and that he can get my full attention at all times.

On Friday night I went out with the girls. Or let me rephrase; a group of middle aged women of various nationalities went out on the town to celebrate a birthday together. I had met the birthday girl only once before so it was nice to be invited. Simply going into town is an adventure.

It turns out that Mr. Li, our driver, loves Lady Gaga. He loves her so much that he is playing one song over and over again in different remixes (“There’s nothing else I can say, he-ey, he-ey…… over and over and over again…) all the while maneuvering the car in Beijing’s crazy traffic. I don’t go into town much so just looking out the car window is mind-blowing. It has changed so much and at the same time, between the high rises, in the alleys and parks; people are still dancing for exercise or walking backwards, playing ping pong or chess and the children still don’t wear diapers and do their business on the streets. We tried our best to communicate, Mr. Li and myself, and I think I spoke more Chinese on that one hour ride into town than I’ve done altogether these weeks I’ve spent in China so far. And it’s coming back to me, slowly.

The plan was to meet up at The Fairmont for a cocktail class; have a Japanese dinner at Hatsune and end the night dancing at Suzie Wong’s;  the pick-up place in Beijing – according to my husband. I told him not to worry too much; eight gigantic (by Asian standards) middle aged western women would hardly be the belles of this ball. So we arrive around 11 pm and the place is of course very quiet; I mean who goes to a club before midnight (unless they have kids of course, like all of us)? It’s a two or three story house, different bars with different music and yay! It’s PINK night! We get to wear flashing pink mouse ears or devils’ horns if we want or why not a pink boa for the birthday girl? We find a bar with a table to sit down at (we are old!) and proceed to order drinks only to learn that tonight, the special PINK night, there is a minimum of 800RMB per table….in a half empty bar. I managed to negotiate that we would leave the table if another party wanted it and the waiter was happy with that. 

As we are waiting for our drinks and look around the place it hits me; things have changed in the club world. Where we used to dress up to look nice for ourselves and our friends, the girls now dress up for show, to be seen, to get their picture taken perhaps and end up on someone’s’ blog or website. And where we would drink and laugh and have fun together with each other, now half the group is busy texting or browsing the web on their phones or looking bored as if they have something more important to do. And they all drank whole bottles of alcohol. I’m guessing to 1. Meet the 800RMB per table rule and 2. It looks cool (?). But hello, we see two young local men get a table and proceed to order one (1) whole bottle of Jack Daniels and eight (8) bottles of ice tea. I’m glad we stay to see how that turned out later in the evening and I wonder if they will ever be able to drink JD again.

We finally worked up the courage to hit the dance floor; I mean – who cares? Who cares that we felt awkward, underdressed (compared to the local beauties; come on! They came in full gear; false lashes and all!), old, tired and very, very tall. BUT! Miracles do happen and I believe we’ve still got it, at least some of us. Local Chinese guy encouraged by drink perhaps but also the fact that he is out to entertain the boss begins to dance wildly with us, clearly having a great time. A little while later he gets his boss out on the dance floor and I believe for him its mission accomplice, his job is done. Boss is happy, he is happy.

Very soon after we were happily on our way home; I was in bed by 1pm and was of course promptly woken up at 6.30 the next morning. Thank God we didn’t have to order a whole bottle of alcohol.

He’s here!

Finally the family is all together again, we are complete.

Last night, one day early, a slightly frumpy (and quite overweight) Shakespeare arrived after two months boarding at our veterinarian's office in Scottsdale, AZ, one trans American flight to Houston, TX, one transatlantic flight followed by a little rest in Amsterdam, a transcontinental flight to Shanghai and six days of quarantine, and finally, a hop and a skip up to Beijing.

After having checked out the place a little bit and getting familiarized with the surroundings, he quickly settled down and behaved as normally as possible for him. He took a drink and a snack, went to the bathroom and slept soundly, without nightmares, all night long. Amazing. He is a trouper for sure.

What else can you call a cat that was left by him mommy by the side of the road at the mere age of three weeks, a cat who has lived in Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, France, the United States and now China and has travelled more than most humans have? A cat who has once got lost in a drain (Singapore), who chased crows as big as a six month old babies and used to ride in my bike basket (Japan), developed asthma and jumped off the balcony and went down by himself in the elevator (France), has been in a fight with a bobcat and been stung by scorpions more times than I can remember (AZ of course – I think scorpion venom is like cat cocaine or something, he went back for more all the time! ) and who according to Amanda has a fly in his head (he was born with some kind of bacteria in his brain; fly or bacteria – whatever)? A cat that has travelled 6543.7 miles or 10531, 5 km in two weeks. I don’t know. Super cat?

He seems to be calmer this time around and I remember saying that when he arrived to the States as well four years ago. Age perhaps? Well, he is getting old, will be 12 in October, or maybe November – we are not sure.

The kids got slightly annoyed yesterday when I kept referring to him as my baby.

“But mommy, you didn’t have him in your tummy!” said Amanda.

“Nooo" I said, "but he doesn’t have a mommy of his own, can’t you share?”

“But what about his mommy, won’t she be sad?”

“Shakespeare’s mommy is probably dead”…as are his four hundred or so brothers and sisters on Mount Faber in Singapore. Maybe they got eaten up by a cobra or run over by a car or put in soup…. (No, I didn’t say the last part out loud, she’s only 6!)

“Ok, you can be his mommy. But you’ve got to stop calling him your baby! Mommy, he’s 12, he’ll be embarrassed…”

“No problems, baby, I’ll stop calling Shakespeare my baby. Ok baby?”

“Ok, because I’m your real baby right?”

“Yes, baby.”

It’s ok.

When my new, shiny red Tuk Tuk was delivered it was the event of the day. The very helpful receptionist Blue (yup, that’s her name!) was there as was not only the service apartments security/bell boy but also some other random guard that was walking around. Mr. Li (our driver) was there of course, making sure everything was working out for “his” family, i.e. us, as was Mr. Birdie himself.

It is so pretty, my tuk tuk. All shiny and did I say red? There is plenty of room for the kids to sit and still room for bags and stuff. And so easy to drive! Not exactly fast and strong, but enough horse power for our quiet excursions around Shunyi. I got so excited that I forgot that it was early release day for the kids and that I had to pick Marcus up from the gate. No worries though, I just picked him up and we took my new toy out for a test drive.

As I was driving around I tried to figure out the dashboard, all in Chinese of course. The power meter is easy enough to understand; when all the red lights are out I need to charge it. The same with the turn indicators and the light switch, which talks by the way, as does the reverse button…  There is however one light that I just couldn’t figure out what it was and I asked Blue for advice. Her English is questionable but compared too many others she is a linguistic genius. She asked for the manual which I gladly handed over, it’s all in Chinese of course, and she proceeded to study it intensely. I understand that it takes time, there are so many characters and they all look so much alike! She asked the security guard for advice, apparently he knows bikes….

“We have to see bike”, Blue explains and sure, no problem, I have it parked across the street at my friend Sara’s house (since the parking garage didn’t work out – too steep of a hill for my tired bike, I ended up pushing it up instead of driving it, thank God Beijing is flat!).

Security guy puts the key in the key hole, starts the engine and begins to look around the bike, opening the latch to where the battery is, looking into every hole and cranny all the while talking intensely to Blue who keeps on studying the instruction booklet.

They talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk and I manage to catch a word or two, here and there but not the whole conversation obviously (it’s been 15 years!). Eventually the guard walks away and I ask Blue….what?

“It’s ok.”

That’s it. It’s ok. Nothing to worry about, mei wenti. I’ll make sure to think of that when I’m stranded somewhere with the mysterious light blinking.

It’s ok.

Got Tuk Tuk, can travel

Getting around in the Shunyi bubble, excuse me suburb, can be quite a task. The distances are short but too long to walk. Taking a taxi everywhere works but it is so much work! First you have to find one, then you have to try to explain where you are going, then you have to pay – every time – and then going back home again - you have to do it all over again!

I managed to borrow a bike from a friend of a friend and though my butt is hurting (I thought a bigger saddle would cushion a big butt like mine!) it is a pleasure to swish around the neighborhood, especially when the weather is as nice as it has been the past week with clear, blue skies and warming sun.

Shopping has been difficult though, there is only so much that fits into my little bike basket and this weekend, when the kids will start their sport activities; would I have to suck it up and take taxis everywhere again? Nah….

Of course, in China, there is every bike imaginable available and now, they have stepped it up; moved in to the 21^st century if you will, now, there are electric bikes! Of course I could get a cycle rickshaw and drive the kids around but why, when there are electric tuk tuks?!  This morning, the wonderful driver Mr. Li took me to Birdie Electric in Houshayu, the local place to go to find what I was looking for.

Mr. Birdie himself helped out and quickly introduced me to the latest model; the electric motorbike that is faster, stronger, bigger and safer (?) than any other model and is also almost 600RMB more expensive than what I had in mind. When I told him that my friend (that I’ve never met but once heard of) bought theirs for 3100RMB he quickly steered me in the right direction…the area in the back of the shop with less fancy, not as fast and strong bikes….and then proceeded to look through his records, called someone and started talking to this person fast and excitedly, in Chinese of course. Suddenly he hands me the phone, nodding the head, encouraging me to take it and talk to…someone….

“Eh…hello….ni hao?”,  I ask softly into the phone and is met by a man’s voice with a strong German accent.

“Jaaa, Mr. Birdie changed battery supplier, now stronger batteries, that’s why price more expensive than before.”

“Ooookkkkk”, I answer into the phone to this complete stranger who is now suddenly my ally in my quest to buy transportation for me and my family, “is he a good guy, is Mr. Birdie reliable?”

“Jaaaa, very good man. If you have problem, go back and he will repair. No problem, mei wenti.”

Ok, mei wenti. I needed an extra seat on the back to avoid kids fighting and within two hours Mr. Birdie delivered. Giving me not only a fully charged battery for free but also a lock, a rain coat and a bicycle pump, all included. Mei wenti.